Barversations # Gustav Revisted

Tony looks over at the screen on the right. The cars are all shiny, painted up and going in circles...

“Do you think they get discounts?”

“I’m sure of it.”

I look to the screen on the left. It’s a horse race in progress. It’s getting neck and neck and the lead horse shits and then kicks it right into the face of second horse and knocks the horse out. The jocky goes flying like a squirrel monkey in a clown outfit.

“What did they feed that horse?”

The Bartendress walks by and Tony says, “Hey can you get American movie classics on this?”

“Sure.” She picks up a remote and flips the channel. Buster Keaton is...

“Rock on!”

“Is that Chaplin?”

“No man that’s Buster Keaton.”

“Hmm, Not sure.” Tony scratches his chin, “Is it the guy hanging from the clock above the city?

“No that’s Harold Llyod.”

“He ever work with a fat guy?”

"Yeah back in the day."

“Get away from me kid. I loved that guy.”

“No Buster was stuck with Arbuckle. You’re thinking of W.C. Fields.”

“Oh.”

We watch for a while.

“Did you know that W.C. Fields movies were used to tell other Nazi’s to kill the Jews, among other things.”

“What are you talking about?”

"Well the whole structure of the program would take to long to describe now, but there’s a short called the Barber. W.C. plays a Barber and a large Jewish man comes in he says “I heard you have a sauna... if I don’t loose some weight my wife is going to leave me.” Fields places him in a sauna, then runs out side and kicks a machine on and yells come on ethel.” I take a drag, “It’s not hard to figure it out. When the man is let out, he’s looks like he’s been in Auschwitz, he comes out pointing and says, “I’ll show you someday.” It’s from 1933. Hitler was stood up just like Oswald. Well you know that movie about the Native Americans who broke the code breakers?"

"Yeah I saw that, that’s a good movie."

"Well I looked into W.C. it's hard to find stuff about Mack Sennett but anyhow Feilds' Grandson went into his secret bunker that his grandmother forbid anyone to go into and well, he collected his writings and notes and made a book out of them. In one letter to Eddie Cantor."

"Who that?"

"A comedian." Tony nods and I continue on, "The Letter is addressed to "the killer of christ." and signed "A true Christian."

"Shit."

"In all fairness his wife was worse."

The phone rings . The Bartendress picks it up and says, "Thanks for calling Dragon’s Diner."

Silence.

“Sure yeah you can pick up the sand bags, that’d be great because were suppose to get our first order since Gustav and it’s a big one.”

I turn to Tony, “Do you know how easy it would be to get the city back and running again and not have to waist so much money on taxi’n people back and forth. Not to mention the stress, a friend of mine said in Tennessee they held in a church with cops outside. The city was still allowed to do whatever they want but if you were from here. You were on lock and loaded lock down. He asked to leave and they said they will arrest him. He was stuck. And so well it’s military and churches they’re taken our people to and well all the cities, states and churches are looking for is well a tax right off and to make people from here crazy. Are they getting a tax right off on our tax dollars in another state? I think so.”

"What are you talking about?"

I look at the screen. I watch Buster Keaton…

"Well, look the last three nights I have called every hotel and motel in the city. And I asked them how many rooms do you have in your building and I wrote it down and then I added it up."

"What did you get?"

"The same amount of people evacuated plus a few more."

"So what you’re saying is let the people stay in the city."

"Well behind walls that can protect you sure."

"Do you think the marriot or the days inn would really let a bunch of homeless, poor people and gangsters or mentally ill people or crack heads stay in their hotels?"

"If the national guard is on every floor. If that makes you feel more secure. Who cares? I’m sure the hotels would get double the money and that means less people on the streets on both sides, secured and well helped. You have right now about twelve empty building around city hall that could all get knocked down and then built into a tower where you have a floor for doctors, you have a floor for eating… and not like the super dome."

Tony looks at me and smiles and takes a drink to that, "That’s not a bad idea you could get the city open quicker."

"They could make it like you’re staying in the Deluxe Ritz, all the windows are enforced and the roof is big enough to land twelve helicopters if things get bad."

"That’d be smart."

“Now if it was made big enough, or had a bunch of them in the middle of states prone to these kinds of disasters."”

“No one will go for it.”

“It would cost too much? From who You? Me? There is a thing called insurance and well as we know there are babies and people who are going to have them well then we know there will always be jobs and workers right?”

“What?” Tony rubs his nose, “I never understand what you are talking about.”

“I’m talking about greed, to cut someone off, to say what to them? You’re worth nothing? Of course not because we bank on natural resources not people. People just want to destroy people for the most part.”

The Bartendress, ask us if would like anything to eat.

“Just another New Castle please.”

“You got it.”

“You know if they made a rule that people who live in the city work with the army to help rebuild the city after the storm and they get certificates that helps people, one learn a skill, and then two get a job or get union access.”

Being there comes on.

“Alright! Being There!” I turn to Tony , “You’ve seen it?”

Tony says “What is it?”

“Oh man, what have you been in a coma, well let me buy the next round. You’ll love it.”

“Hey!”

Everyone looks over at a man sitting by himself. He making sure we're looking. He eye's everyone to make sure we're looking at him.

"Do you know what it is like to sit on your roof for days, pissing in the flood then watching people float by? Not sure if it's your neighbor?or someone you knew? looking at your neighbors roof tops not sure if they made it out, though you knew they were in town and all you saw was an empty roof, were they in the attic with enough room and air. Where they dead? Then the pains of having to take a shit, holding it in long enough, hoping someone gonna' come save your ass... then when you've said 'had enuff' you shit off your own roof, some folks I know for 30 years had to watch me shit off my own roof from across the street, I hollered to make sure no one was watching and then I went to the back yard side of the roof and I never felt so damn strange in my life..."

Silence fell in and no one said anything just the TV continued on.